I am tired. Body aching, blurry eyed tired.
Sleep seems to have gone completely out of the window, a combination, I think, of teething, it being bright outside and a huge upheaval in our routine. I sit in the middle of the day dreaming about curling up in bed and sleeping or having a warm bath and having a moment to myself. Sleep deprivation is unwelcome hard work.
Chilly has been working out of the house from dawn until very late recently and I have had to complete the daily baby/housework routine on my own. This is tiring and I have huge respect for any single parent who has to do this day in day out and manages to stay sane. I am not sure Eli understands where Daddy has gone and I am convinced he tries to stay up each night to see him. If he manages to stay awake to hear Chilly walk through the front door he turns manic trying to squeeze in as much playing with Daddy before he can’t keep his eyes open anymore. If it gets really late and I have to insist on bed it is taking me hours to soothe him.
Each night right now is a battle. A battle into and then out of the shower, a battle into pajamas, a battle to clean teeth and then a battle in the bedroom. I lay there trying to fight my own sleep each night waiting for Eli to wear him self out clambering around the room. Eventually when my patience has run out and I am feeling frustrated and tense he crawls over next to me, cuddles in and feeds and we sleep until morning.
Then before I know it the alarm is bleeping, through blurry eyes I can see Chilly saying goodbye for yet another day, I can hear Eli grumbling and waking and I tell myself, “this soon will pass,” because it will pass, it always does and I get up and make a coffee (except we don’t have any coffee because we have run out and pay-day isn’t for two weeks so tea will have to do).
I hope this passes soon.